The Last Supper…..GTA Style.

30 Jan

Going into Round 6 of the Global Time Attack 2012 season, I have to admit, I was a bit sad this was the last event of the year. I had a great time at all the events, was extremely fortunate I was even able to make all 6 events, and loved every part of it (the first few flights were pretty brutal too). So while I wasn’t looking forward to the 2012 season ending, I did have something to look forward to on the way down I-5…

…The Last Supper.

Buttonwillow, CA is probably only known for two things. Buttonwillow Raceway and Willow Ranch Restaurant. Lucky for us, after a 250 mile drive we would be dining at the marvelous Willow Ranch with the GTA staff and competitors who have really become friends rather than enemies. Don’t believe me? Go ahead and log-in to Facebook (if you try to say you don’t have a Facebook account your a liar, everyone has one. I’m friends with 13 homeless guys on Facebook who post more than average people. Everyone has a Facebook account.) and add a couple of the names mentioned below and sit back and enjoy the show. You’ll quickly learn about the Viagra sponsored GTO running in the Unlimited AWD class, how gay some shop owners are, and how conveniently located IN-N-Out Burger drive-thru’s on track can really slow down your times.

5hrs and 250 miles later, we had finally arrived at Willow Ranch Restaurant. Stretched our legs for a second and made our way towards the back of the restaurant where there, a voice echoed its way into John Naderi’s ears…

…which of course led to this next look from John. Something we see quite often from John when Keith gets into story telling mode.

With time attack racing, the goal is fastest time possible. Duh. Of course teams take this very serious and do everything they can to make sure their car is ready to put down the fastest time possible. From aerodynamic’s, to running the proper amount of power, to correct suspension setup and of course keeping their car as light as possible. Well, it appears there are some exceptions to that last rule. As seen below, these guys do not play when it comes to devouring BBQ. Look at Markos Mylonas for example. He was so astonished about the small farm he was about to eat that he had to photograph it for future proof he is a One-Man-Farm-Eliminating-Beast. Even Taylor Wilson couldn’t believe Markos was about to annihilate Buttonwillow’s one and only petting zoo.

Want to know what a hard time is? Watching all your friends eat their meal while all you can munch on is the table cloth.

Of course, eating a small farm leaves you very thirsty. And while there aren’t any lakes in the Buttonwillow area I’m aware of, that leaves time attackers searching for another source of refreshment. Here in lies the makings of Beer Time Attack. When the waitress’s can no longer keep up with our beer consumption, Yukio Taira takes matters into his own hands. Literally. Proof below of said kind sir filling my bottle back up via pitcher. What can I say, we like to keep it classy.

Yukio Taira probably has one of the busiest schedules out of everyone I know (all 12 of you). If he’s not at the office putting in 16-hour shifts, he’s at the track. If he’s not at the track, he’s at a convention. And when he’s at neither of those and catching his breath, he’s chasing his daughter around on their own adventures. As you could imagine, he has a pretty demanding schedule. That type of demand requires a diet of more than crackers and a side salad. That is why he orders the Man’s Meal and rips through farms with Markos.

How do you define happiness? A smile from ear to ear? “Glowing” as some say? How about the feeling that starts in your stomach, works its way through your heart and pours out of your eyes and mouth when your Goliath plate of food has just been placed in front of you. Ladies and gentlemen, I am confident happiness is what Tony Szirka felt when his order arrived.

***What you are about to witness may scare you, make you cry, scream, laugh, crap yourself, glad your not Mike Warfield, wish you were there, close your internet browser, or not even blink and keep on scrolling ***

Fact of the matter is, rape is no laughing matter. Its horrifying, demeaning, disgusting and absolutely wrong. Now when your a male, and a couple other males grab you from behind to secure you, the idea that you could be seconds away from getting raped may come to mind. This could become the scariest moment in your entire life. For Mike Warfield, this moment appeared to becoming a reality quite fast.

But lets take a moment to dissect the photo above. Because I’m not too sure if every viewer will truly understand and see the bigger picture going on there.

First and foremost lets focus on Mike Warfield. That is not a look of happiness on his face. That is sheer fear. Wouldn’t you feel the same way when Kyle Lewis secured you with the Grizzly Grip of Death? I would’ve shit myself and passed out.

But if you look closer you’ll notice its not only Kyle’s Grizzly Grip of Death holding down Mike, there appears to be a secondary force there. Boots perhaps??

Whether your into them or not, its safe to say everyone has watched a mafia movie at some point in their life. One of the strongest aspects of the mafia is that even when “hits” or crimes are committed surrounded by the public, no one saw a thing. No witness’s, no leaky mouth’s. The same thing applies when a GTA hit is going down. No wondering eyes, no witness’s.

Our last focus point is aimed the look on Bob Apodaca’s face. Not even Tony Szirka looked that excited when his food arrived. That tells you that something BIG is about to go down.

Fortunately for Mike, his man hood was left intact and his pants stayed around his waist. It actually turned out to be the closing ceremony for The Last Supper and Bob had a really special gift for him.

And with a thumbs up from Nolan, the GTA 2012 Last Supper was a wrap. With the Pro-Am series days away, Pro Championship a couple months away, I’m sure these guys cannot wait to get back out on the track and back to Willow Ranch for more good times.

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Posted by on January 30, 2013 in Documentary


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